Anxiety and Excitement: Understanding the Link Between Them
Updated: Oct 27
Most people know the feeling of a racing heart before something that matters: a presentation, a difficult conversation, the first day somewhere new.
The breathing goes shallow, the palms are damp, there is restlessness or butterflies in the stomach, and in the moment it can be surprisingly hard to say whether you are dreading the thing or looking forward to it. Often it is both.
The overlap between anxiety and excitement is real, it is worth understanding, and it can be useful, provided we are careful about how far it goes.
Why anxiety and excitement feel so alike
Both involve the body getting ready for something. When a situation matters to us, whether because it threatens us or because it offers something we want, our arousal systems become active: heart rate rises, breathing changes, muscles tense and attention narrows.
This is the familiar fight-or-flight response, although it is better thought of as a general state of readiness than as something reserved for danger. The physical symptoms of anxiety and the sensations of excitement can therefore be very close.
Similar is not the same, though. Excitement tends to point towards something we want, with a sense of anticipation, while anxiety tends to point towards something uncertain or feared, and often carries a feeling of dread or doubt about whether we can cope.
What interpretation adds
Physical sensations don’t arrive with a label. A fast heartbeat before a first date and a fast heartbeat before a medical appointment are much the same event in the body, and what we make of it depends on the situation, on what we expect to happen and on how we have learned to read ourselves.
If we take the sensations as evidence that something is going wrong, we tend to watch them more closely, feel more alarmed, and the physical arousal builds. If we take them as the body gearing up for something that matters, they may be easier to tolerate.
Some experimental studies suggest that interpreting pre-performance nerves as excitement, rather than trying to calm down, can help people approach certain tasks more positively and may even improve performance.
This suggests that interpretation can matter, not that anxiety can simply be argued away.
When reframing can help
Reframing is most useful in situations that are challenging but not truly dangerous: a presentation, an interview, a difficult conversation, something unfamiliar.
Telling yourself “I’m so excited” with any force usually rings false, and a more modest shift tends to work better.
Someone about to speak in a meeting might notice their heart pounding and think “I’m going to make a mess of this”, at which point every sensation becomes further evidence.
The alternative is to notice the same sensations and think “my body is getting ready for this”, staying with them rather than fighting them.
Reflection helps here too. Looking back on what happened, perhaps while exercising, writing things down or simply talking to someone you trust, often shows when the feeling turns towards dread and when it turns towards anticipation, and that is useful information in itself.
Breathing exercises and similar techniques can also take the edge off the physical side, even if they don’t change what the situation means to you.
When it isn’t enough
Reframing on its own is unlikely to be enough for everyone experiencing persistent anxiety or panic.
It may be useful in some circumstances, but it is not a universal solution, particularly when anxiety has been present for months or years, is connected to trauma, or is affecting everyday life.
Anxiety can sometimes alert us to something that deserves attention, but it can also make situations feel more threatening than they are. Being told to see it as excitement can feel dismissive, leaving you with the impression that you are failing to manage your own mind if the feelings don’t change.
Managing anxiety doesn’t necessarily mean making it disappear. Often the more realistic aim is to be able to feel it without being run by it: to recognise what is happening, make sense of it and have more choice about how you respond.
If anxiety is affecting your everyday life, psychotherapy can help you understand the patterns behind it and find different ways of responding. You can read more about my approach on my Anxiety page.
When anxiety is part of a bigger pattern
Anxiety is not always a matter of misreading bodily signals. It is also shaped by our histories, our relationships, what we expect from other people and our habitual ways of responding to uncertainty.
Someone whose anxiety appears mainly when they might be judged may have grown up in an environment where criticism was common or approval felt conditional. For them, those sensations aren’t neutral, because they arrive with older meanings attached.
Someone else may find that worry loops: checking, rehearsing, seeking reassurance, each bringing a little relief while keeping the cycle going.
Understanding where a pattern like that comes from, and what it has been protecting you from, can change how the sensations are experienced in a way that a technique alone sometimes cannot.
The question becomes not only how to manage anxiety in the moment, but also why particular situations affect us so strongly and what keeps the response going.
Exploring your own patterns
Anxiety can be difficult to deal with alone, particularly when it becomes a recurring pattern that is hard to understand or change. Psychotherapy can offer space to explore not only what you are experiencing, but also the experiences and relationships that may have shaped how you respond.
If you'd like to explore this in your own life, you can read more about my approach to anxiety or get in touch to arrange an initial conversation.
